


You Can Be The Moon And Still Be Jealous Of The Stars

by androgynousdouche



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 06:51:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5617429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousdouche/pseuds/androgynousdouche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe had always known about soulmate marks.<br/>Unfortunately, he didn't have one.<br/>Or, he thought he didn't have one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Ghost

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!!! I hope you enjoy this fic!

Ever since he could remember, Poe had known about soulmate marks.

The marks were unique and ranged from phrases to names and even to images. The most common were small pictograms that were heavily linked to your soulmate while the rarest, and most valuable, were names. People sometimes had very unique names sketched into their skin, making it easier to find ‘the one’. Other times, people had common names or names in another language etched into them. Phrases were a different type of frustration because some marks were first words or, the worst circumstance, it was their soulmate’s last words.

Those marks were rarely talked about.

It wasn’t uncommon for people to have these marks- in fact, it was  _ more _ uncommon for people to not have any sort of permanent link to another person, or another species, that indicated an invisible bond between two souls. People without marks were labeled as ‘uncommons’. Everyone around them tried to be supportive of their unfortunate luck, but the people without the marks knew that they were somehow broken; they may have been born at the wrong time, they may have been born in the wrong universe, anything was possible. All that they knew was that they were an outsider. It didn’t mean that they couldn’t love or be loved, it just meant that a soulmate wasn’t something written in the galaxy for them. With these unexplainable marks, people loved to rely on them to help them through tough times. The uncommons though, they didn’t have that sort of support to lean on during dark times.

Poe, unfortunately, was one of the uncommons.

The fact that he didn’t have a mark didn’t bother him at first; he was a kid, and sometimes they popped up later on in life, like when your soulmate was born if you happened to be older than them. That was a common reassurance that was said to kids without marks. Being markless was a hushed conversation strictly shared between adults, but it wasn’t something kids didn’t understand. They may not have known what a soulmate was but they knew that not having a mark was bad. Even though he was made fun of by the other kids when he was little, Poe trudged on. He knew he had a soulmate and he just  _ knew _ that his mark would pop up, he could feel it deep in his chest. People asked him often how he knew if he didn’t have a mark and he always answered that the universe had told him it would appear when the time was right. Though he tried not to think about it too often his efforts were fruitless, because his mind always seemed to wander back to the fact that he had no mark. Wondering when it would pop up would cause him to spiral into a sort of depression that no child could have understood. His mother, knowing how deeply he was affected by this, would come to him on his worst nights and comfort him, trying her best to ease his loneliness.

“Honey,” he remembered his mom saying in a soothing voice that only she could muster, “You’ll get your mark. Patience is a virtue for a reason. Your father got his when he was ten, you know.”

Poe drifted off into a restless sleep that night, still unsure if he was ever going to be blessed with a mark.

He was eight when he lost the only person who could comfort the worry in his heart.

 

* * *

 

Poe was twenty-eight when his mark popped up.

At first, Poe didn’t know what it was. It was four numbers in an order that neither he nor his droid unit BB-8 could figure out.

‘2187’ was all it said.

The first day it appeared on the top of his left hand he thought maybe it was a countdown to when he’d meet his soulmate. He’d met someone with a counter on her ankle before, so this must be the same thing, right? Or maybe it was the first thing his soulmate would say to him.

“Is it a kill count?” BB-8 beeped at him.

Poe felt his chest cave in at the thought of it being a kill count. BB-8 wasn’t afraid to say things that upset Poe, which is why he loved it so much, but this was definitely a soft topic for him.

“I’m hoping it’s a countdown,” Poe whispered as he traced the numbers with his right index finger. The burning sensation that had woken him up from his sleep had diminished by now. Only a soft tingle could be felt whenever he traced the numbers. Poe wondered if it would burn every day if it was a countdown.

After three days of it not changing, he figured it was a phrase mark. Maybe they were coordinations someone would eventually give him?

All he wanted was for it to not be a kill count.

“I think it’s how many people are in love with you,” Jess joked with Poe over dinner one night, “I mean, really. Everyone here is head over heels for you, Dameron. I wouldn’t be too surprised.”

“Dude, lay off of him,” Lieutenant Arana said, “We don’t even have that many people in the Resistance that we know of, so that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Guys,” Poe sighed, running his hands through his hair, “This really isn’t helping.”   
Jess made a face before flicking a chunk of her portions towards Poe’s mark, “Awww, pretty boy is sad that so many people love him.”

Everyone surrounding the table broke into soft chuckles, including Poe. He couldn’t let the rest of his squad know how badly this was hurting him, so he played it off like it was something he also found funny even though he didn’t.

“I can only imagine your soulmate’s mark,” Kun muttered while staring at her soup that she was messing with.

Poe couldn’t imagine what was significant about him that would leave a mark on someone.

 

* * *

 

“General Organa!” Poe yelled frantically as he chased her down, “General Organa, please, this is urgent!”

“Is everything alright, Commander?” Leia asked as she turned towards Poe. He wasn’t sure what to do once he had caught up with her. It was just the two of them in a hallway- he wasn’t even sure where he was. All he knew was that when he woke up and looked at his hand, he panicked and began running. What he was running from, he wasn’t sure.

“Please, General,” Poe pleaded quickly, tears threatening to spill over. He was fidgeting with the glove he had haphazardly shoved onto his hand to hide his newly developed mark, “I just don’t know what to do, my whole life has been about the Resistance, and now-”

“Woah, slow down, Poe,” General Organa stated. The use of his first name caused Poe’s eyes to shoot up from his gloved hand to her face. Formalities were protocol within the Resistance, especially when speaking to different ranks, but Poe figured she could get away with anything. He also knew that she was trying to comfort him during this time of distress. “It’s okay, whatever has happened to us, I’m sure we’ll be able to figure it out.”   
“It’s nothing to do with us,” Poe whined, “It’s  _ this _ .”

Poe yanked the random glove off of his left hand. He showed her exactly what he was trying to hide- a stormtrooper’s helmet with the numbers ‘2187’ written across where the wearer’s forehead would be. Poe breathed heavily, trying to calm himself but his anxiety was bubbling over. All of these years he wished for nothing but to have a mark, to finally be normal and have the validation that  _ yes _ , it was possible for him to loved, but not if it was like this. How could his soulmate be a stormtrooper, of all things? Everything he had ever done revolved around the Resistance and nothing else. His bloodline was even Resistance.

He thought about how disappointed his mother would be.

Tears flowed freely down his face as Leia inspected his mark. He was waiting for her to revoke his position as Commander of the Rapier Squadron, to denounce him entirely, and for exile. There was just no way that someone with a  _ stormtrooper _ soulmate could be trusted within the Resistance.

Poe held his breath as Leia ran her fingers over the mark. He was extremely aware of his surroundings as he tried to take everything in for the last time. His mind was racing in a million different directions, which was unusual for him. Poe may have been a hotshot and confident most of the time but he rarely lost his cool during operations or even during anything. Today, though, was one of those rare days when he lost his control over his emotions.

“I see no problem,” General Organa concluded after a minute of inspecting Poe’s mark, “What is the problem?”

Poe opened his mouth to retort, to tell her that he obviously can’t, and shouldn’t, be trusted anymore due to this new development, but all that came out was, “What?”

General Organa smiled and scoffed slightly before squeezing Poe’s left hand, which she still had in her own grasp, “Commander Dameron, a soulmate mark doesn’t mean you’re going to completely turn against the Resistance. I can tell now, as I could before, that you’d risk your life before letting us down. You wouldn’t turn against us for anything, or for  _ anyone _ .”

Poe lowered his head to hide his expression. The tears that came down his cheeks now were no longer panicked tears, but rather they were tears of relief.

“Besides,” Leia continued, “Not all soulmate marks are romantic, you know.”

Poe’s eyebrows furrowed as he glanced up at her. This was something he had never heard before. How could you have a soulmate that you don’t fall in love with?

“My main mark is Luke’s lightsaber,” Leia smiled, “And his mark is my name. We’re each other’s soulmates because we complete each other. That’s what a soulmate is; it doesn’t have to be romantic.”

Leia brought Poe’s hand up to cover his heart before letting go of it herself. She nodded towards his mark before continuing, “You should probably hide it from the others, though. I don’t want any drama to start up because of a misunderstanding.”

Poe nodded his head as she turned away from him. He clenched his fist, holding onto the fabric of his shirt that covered his chest. His heart was racing but he felt a veil of calm settle over his entire body. His position wasn’t revoked, he was still seen as someone trustworthy by General Organa, and he even gained a piece of knowledge about her that he was sure very few people knew. Poe hadn’t even thought of the possibility that his confession would go well, so he was fumbling around the hallway for a little while before it truly hit him that  _ everything was okay _ . The mark on his hand needed to be hidden, sure, but he wasn’t going to suffer due to the fact that his soulmate was probably a stormtrooper.

Poe had never been more excited to face stormtroopers.

 

* * *

 

 

“FN- what?!” Poe exclaimed out of both shock and confusion. With everything going on, it was a damn miracle that he even registered the numbers that the stormtrooper had yelled at him. Poe couldn’t believe that he had  _ finally _ met his soulmate. After all these years of waiting and hoping that a mark would appear, he was with his soulmate in a fucking TIE fighter, of all the vehicles he could be trapped in.

“It’s the only name they ever gave me!” FN-2187 yelled back at him while he flew the ship. It was fast, and had a lot of power, but Poe could fly  _ anything _ . Poe grinned, knowing that this was his opportunity to turn this situation into a favorable and memorable one.

“Well, I ain’t callin’ you that!” Poe shouted. Excitement and adoration laced his words as he named his soulmate, “FN, huh? Finn. I’m gonna call you Finn!”

There was a split-second of silence before Poe became frantic, wanting to make sure that FN-2187 was cool with the name. Personally, Poe loved the name. It felt right, but he had to make sure the other guy was about it as well, “That all right?”

“Finn…” FN-2187 breathed. Poe’s left hand felt like it was on fire when he said the name, “Yeah, I like that! Finn!”

 

* * *

 

 

It was hot. It was too hot. His body was in pain because of how hot it was.

Poe rolled his head around, trying to get his mom to turn the heater down. Sometimes, she’d turn it up in the winter even though it rarely got too cold on Yavin 4, but she always complained about it being cold.

He woke with a start when he realized that it wasn’t the heater like he thought it was in his dreams, but it was fire. Smoke surrounded him as he yanked his hands free from the wreckage that was laying on him. Struggling to free himself, he ripped his jacket off once he realised that it was the only thing that was holding him back in place.

“FN- Finn?!” Poe yelled frantically as he rolled out of the TIE fighter. He was desperate, he couldn’t lose his soulmate after just meeting him. The universe couldn’t be that horrible to him, could it?

“FINN!” Poe screamed, “Finn, please!”

No response was ever shouted his way.

Poe ripped his left glove up and saw that the numbers ‘2187’ were gone from his mark. The outline of the helmet was still black and bolded, but the numbers were gone, indicating that Finn must not have made it through the crash.

_ ‘Finn must not have made it,’ _ echoed in Poe’s head. It hit every nerve, every cell, every drop of blood that inhabited his body. A feeling of dread coursed through his body, causing him to become catatonic. Poe wanted to fall to his knees, to scream at the sky, but the ground below him began to shake and it shocked him out of his stupor enough to let him know that he needed to leave. He needed to leave  _ now _ .

With no time to mourn, Poe turned and ran into the open desert. His brain shut down and focused on one thing: get back to base. He had to get back to work and find his droid and act as if nothing had happened. That was the easiest way to deal with his loss, and it was the route he decided to go.

 

* * *

 

It had been weeks since the crash and Poe Dameron had done nothing but charge forward. He had gotten back to General Organa and told her everything that happened, including the fact that the stormtrooper had the exact same numbers as his mark had. She gave him a sincere look of apology as he explained that his name had disappeared from his hand. Poe knew that she was going to ask more but someone came in with news for her, so the topic was never talked about. In all honesty, Poe was grateful that she had been interrupted and had been pulled away from him. He wanted to close off any sort of emotion he had towards the... _ situation _ . It wasn’t a topic that would propel him forward, but it would drag him down, and he didn’t need that. He didn’t need that now, not ever. So, instead of facing the problem, he decided to ignore it.

Poe refused to remove his glove. He couldn’t bare to look at his hand and see that the name, and possibly the helmet, had left his skin. The mark hadn’t even been three years old before it was already gone. The same, stupid glove was on his hands for weeks. If he needed to wash it, he kept it on, only loosening it enough to let his other hand slip in to wash the inside of the fabric. Whenever he did that, he never felt his left hand tingle.

His hand hadn’t felt like anything since before the crash.

Poe’s heart hurt every time he had enough downtime to think about it. So far, he had successfully been busy enough to not think about anything. Some of his friends, and his fellow squad members, tried to ask why his mood had been sour for so long, but he always blew them off. Everyone assumed it was because he had lost his droid but he never had the heart to tell them it was because he had met and lost his soulmate in a span of less than one singular day.

It was embarrassing, really. His whole life he had been made fun of by kids, and eventually been side eyed by people once they got older and the topic of being an ‘uncommon’ became taboo. Everyone within the Resistance was so happy for him when the numbers appeared, and he was happy as well. It was everything he had ever wanted.

Or he thought it was.

BB-8 had occasionally beeped about how it was quite unusual for his mark to appear twenty-eight years late, but Poe never expanded on the topic. A twenty-eight year difference was a lot and always stressed him out when he thought about it. Eventually, BB-8 realized that it’s human’s heart rate would speed up and his blood pressure would increase whenever the topic was brought up, so it dropped the subject.

Poe knew that if his droid had been here it would have insisted that he take off his glove to absolutely check that the mark had disappeared. BB-8 was always the voice of reason whenever Poe would get too wrapped up in his emotions to function like himself, but without it here, all Poe could do was wallow in self pity. There was no beeping to bring him out of his depression.

Poe missed his droid. He let himself mourn for the little ball that he called his best friend, because he just had a feeling that BB-8 would have made it back by now, or would have sent some sort of message to the base to inform Poe that it was okay. Poe knew that he didn’t instruct it to come back but he still hoped that BB-8 would have been smart enough (and it  _ was _ because Poe programmed it) to at least contact him.

It wasn’t until he saw BB-8 racing towards him that he realized his left hand wasn’t bare, just different. Seeing the little ball zoom towards him brought Poe out of his haze; Poe ripped his glove off and saw that the outline of the helmet was still visible. BB-8 rolled right up to Poe, distracting him before he could process the fact that his mark was clearly not erased from history. The droid started going off about it’s saviour, throwing around terms like “jacket thief” and “hand stealer”, which Poe didn’t comprehend. What the hell did those phrases mean?

“Poe? POE DAMERON?!” Poe heard a voice shout somewhere in the distance. Poe had been so distracted by the sight of his droid that he didn’t realize it had been with someone else. Poe’s head snapped up and he felt like his whole world stopped when his eyes found Finn. He would have thought that in a moment like this, time would have stopped, but time actually sped up. It was hard to figure out what was going on because too many emotions flooded Poe’s brain: regret, panic, anger, confusion, exhaustion, and even happiness all raced through him simultaneously. The pain that he felt due to the sudden rush wasn’t nearly as tangible as the need to physically grab Finn to assure himself that the stormtrooper was alive, and wasn’t a figment of Poe’s imagination.

“Buddy!” was what left his mouth as he ran towards his soulmate. He was ready to launch himself at Finn, to grab his face and plant a kiss right on the other man’s stupid lips, but he restrained himself. If anything, Poe needed time to process everything before taking too many steps forward.

The conversation between the two didn’t register with Poe; he was too happy to see that his soulmate was alive, here, and seemingly unharmed. The words that left his own mouth were meaningless to Poe. Poe was about to show Finn his mark when he noticed Finn’s mark underneath his jacket.

On the inside of Finn’s left wrist was a name written in cursive that shined brighter than any combination of stars that Poe could have ever imagined. It was gold, flaked with blue that sparkled randomly, spelling ‘REY’.

It was clear as day that while Finn was Poe’s soulmate, Poe was not Finn’s soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [wrow.jpg]


	2. Where'd You Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW THANKS EVERYONE FOR THE SUPPORT I HOPE I DON'T HURT YOU ALL TOO MUCH

Poe cradled his head in his hands, resisting the urge to cry his heart out.

Finn was here, and he was alive, but he was barely hanging on. When he was rushed off away from Rey, Poe followed after the medical vehicle and vaguely wondered why Rey wasn’t following Finn since she was his soulmate. Shouldn’t she feel the pull towards him like Poe could feel? She had to know that she was his soulmate, how could she not? Finn’s wrist was so bright it was hard for anyone to ignore it.

Poe’s gut clenched when he remembered the fact that Rey was Finn’s soulmate, and he wasn’t. He wasn’t mad at Rey or anything, it’s not like she could have prevented this or could change what was destined for her. He was just jealous. Finn’s happiness was Poe’s primary focus, so he tried not to linger on the fact that he was envious of Rey, but it was hard to ignore when he was reminded every time he happened to look at either of the two.

The heart monitor next to Finn’s bed beeped slowly, continuously dragging on and providing a calming metronome to the room that was otherwise silent. Everything around the two bodies was sterile, white, and lacked any sort of design. The medic droid that was stationed to watch Finn was waiting outside of his room to give Poe some privacy with his… friend. At first, the droid refused to leave but after showing off his mark to it, Poe got to spend some quality alone time with Finn. The droid usually wouldn’t have bothered Poe but tonight was different. He felt like anything he said to Finn was going to cause him to break into tears, and he didn’t want a droid trying to offer sympathy to him.

“I guess you know this already,” Poe sighed, not sure if Finn could hear him or if he was just wasting his energy, “But your mark says Rey’s name, while mine has yours. I mean, at first, all mine said was ‘2187’ and the stormtrooper helmet came later. Now it says ‘Finn’ instead of your number.”

Poe adjusted himself, moving from a hunched position next to Finn to sitting straight up in his chair. He pulled at his collar nervously as he explained himself even more.

“It’s weird, I’ve never heard of people not having each other’s soulmate marks. I think it’s just never talked about. I mean, I’m so happy that you found Rey, don’t get me wrong, buddy. I just want you to be happy.”

Poe’s hands ran through his dark hair as he tried to keep his cool while talking. This was so much worse than if Finn were awake, he thought. At least if Finn was aware of what was going on, he could comfort Poe and maybe even tell him that everything was okay. Poe wanted nothing more than for a good, long hug from Finn right now. Any sort of reassurance that they would be okay platonically was what he craved, and Poe didn’t even care if they could never have anything romantic. Poe was adamant about not coming between Rey and Finn out of his own desires.

“I know she’ll make you happy,” Poe wiped away a small tear that had somehow escaped his waterline, “We’ll still be friends, and-”

Poe’s words were cut short when the doors to Finn’s room opened unexpectedly. Instinctively, Poe stood to protect Finn. His eyes searched the silhouette in the doorway before realizing that this figure, even though they had a weapon on their person, was nonthreatening.

“You must be Poe,” the girl said after a minute of silence. She walked into the room, causing the doors behind her to slide shut with a quick squeak. Poe slowly nodded as he lowered himself back into his seat, now knowing that Finn was okay and it wasn’t some stormtrooper bounty hunter coming to collect his body. He didn’t know who this girl was officially but he could guess that it was none other than Finn’s soulmate.

When she stepped closer and Poe saw that her right wrist was glowing the same way Finn’s did, Poe knew.

“You’re Rey.”

Rey nodded, not uttering a word in response. Her gaze was fixated on Finn’s face, raking it up and down as she inspected him. She looked at him so lovingly that it tugged at Poe’s heartstrings. No look had ever made Poe’s stomach hurt as much as her gaze did. Rey’s whole demeanour relaxed once she had her left hand cradling Finn’s cheek.

He knew that her soulmate was Finn just as much as Finn’s soulmate was her.

Her mark was different from Finn’s, though. Instead of shining a blinding gold, her mark was a neon blue with flakes of gold. Finn had his mark on the inside of his left wrist while Rey had her’s on the inside of her right wrist.

“Your mark compliments his,” Poe said aloud. Rey’s eyes darted from her wrist, to Finn’s wrist, up to Poe’s face. She seemed confused at first, cocking her head to the side a little, before Poe’s words registered in her mind. Her eyes grew wide as she glanced back at Finn’s wrist. She looked worried for a second before a grin broke across her face, and Poe could see why everyone had said that her smile could blind any pilot. She practically radiated with light when she spoke to Poe.

“Yes, we compliment each other very much,” she started to cry but her smile didn’t fade, “I finally have someone that’s willing to come back for me.”

Poe’s eyes found the floor. He didn’t want to intrude on this moment between the two, even though Finn was still knocked out. It seemed too intimate and too personal for Poe to be apart of. He began to lift himself from his chair but Rey’s words caught his attention.   
“He speaks about you so highly,” Rey noted, “He never stops talking about you.”

By now, Poe was standing and facing away from Rey. He was glad Rey couldn’t see his face when she said that; he was destroyed hearing those words. Poe wanted Finn to like him, to love him, but actually dealing with unrequited feelings was better in theory than in practice. A soft whine left Poe’s throat.

“Will you be here when he wakes?” Rey asked, not commenting on the involuntary noise that Poe had made.

He coughed, allowing his voice to return to normal before answering, “I fucking hope so.”

With that, Poe exited Finn’s hospital room.

 

* * *

 

Poe wasn’t there when he woke.

It wasn’t his fault, really. He didn’t even know when Finn woke because no one could contact him. He had been sent out on a mission to retrieve some information from an ally planet, only to have been caught in a trap. Apparently, this planet was trying to stay on neutral terms with both sides, and gave either side what they asked for in claims of neutrality. One of those things happen to be Poe.

So, once again, he was strapped to a chair, bloodied, and not talking.

“Tell us,” the unfamiliar person hissed at Poe, “Where Luke Skywalker is!”

Poe barked out a laugh. That’s what they wanted to know?! Poe didn’t even know where he was. Sure, he saw the map, but it wasn’t like he inspected it thoroughly since he wasn’t the one flying to meet up with the old Jedi. Another manic laugh left his throat. Some blood flew from his mouth onto his captor’s face, causing the man to recoil out of disgust. Honestly, this interrogation was nothing compared to the mind games that Poe had endured from Kylo Ren. When Kylo Ren searched his brain for the location of the map, Poe had to see memories of his mother, his father, and other parts of his life that he didn’t even tell BB-8 about. Things that surfaced after years of repression weakened him far worse than any physical harm that this new captor was inflicting upon him.

A snide remark was about to escape Poe’s mouth but he was interrupted by a loud explosion that happened right next to the door of the room he was in. Poe’s chair flew back from the force of the explosion, launching him right into the nearest wall and causing his head to slam against it. Blackness slowly encompassed Poe’s vision as he prayed that this was the way he would finally stop existing. At least, this way, he was going down a hero, not having given out any valuable information to the only enemy he had ever fought against his whole life.

Finn’s voice was the last thing Poe heard before he was gone.

 

* * *

 

Poe woke with a start, screaming Finn’s name as he tried to move his body from his restraints. He knew that the hut he was in had to be on fire, so he had to escape, but the restraints held him in place. He couldn’t move his hands, his legs, or his chest: all he could move was his head, which he thrashed around violently even though his eyes still couldn’t focus on his surroundings. The smell of fresh earth no longer surrounded him. His eyes couldn’t focus due to tears that blurred everything around him, but he could at least make out the fact that he was no longer in the hut that he had been in earlier. He whipped his head around, trying to figure out where he was, when he suddenly was overcome with a woozy sensation that sent him back into darkness.

 

* * *

 

The next time Poe woke up, it was gentle.

His eyes slowly slid open as they tried to adjust to the bright lights around him. He moved his right hand to shield his eyes from the hospital lights, but something warm and heavy stopped his movements. He turned his head in the direction of the unknown object, only to see Rey clutching his hand as she snored softly.

Poe stared in disbelief at her. Why was Rey here? Also, why was she holding his hand?

A few seconds of silence passed before the doors to Poe’s hospital room slid open. Poe looked towards the doors, hoping to see Finn, but was met with General Organa instead.

“Commander,” General Organa smiled. BB-8 beeped excitedly next to her before whirring into the room and pulling right up to Poe’s bedside. Poe smiled and rested his left hand on top of his droid to show affection to it.

“Hey bud,” Poe said softly. BB-8 vibrated it’s head in response.

General Organa made her way into the room, pulling a chair up to sit in. Rey immediately shot out of her chair, offering it to the higher in command, but Leia waved her hand to signal that Rey need not leave her post. Rey placed herself back on her chair. Poe noticed that Rey hadn’t let go of his hand during the whole exchange.

“Commander,” Leia repeated, “We got notice of your capture as soon as possible. We sent our best men out to rescue you, and I am here to formally apologize for any damage you may have suffered due to the explosion. We weren’t aware that there was a trick bomb near the door of where you were.”

Poe shrugged his shoulders, showing his general that all was well. He knew how things went and understood that mistakes were made, so there was no reason to hold any sort of grudge for things like this.

“We had to medicate you when you woke initially,” General Organa said, “You weren’t stable. Your heart rate was extremely high; you almost put yourself into cardiac arrest. Your throat probably hurts now on account of all the screaming you did.”

Poe swallowed, feeling his vocal cords react in protest. She was right, his throat ached more than it ever had. Poe closed his eyes and breathed out a heavy sigh before nodding his head slightly. With his eyes closed, Poe felt his head start to swim again. He didn’t want to fall back asleep so he opened them up and focused on his hand, which was still being held by Rey.

“We’re giving you a mandatory vacation of one week for your recovery. No protesting.”

General Organa cut off Poe before he could even tell her that no, he was really okay, and could continue on with his mission. She gave him a knowing look which silenced him.

With that final command, General Organa excused herself from the hospital room. She glanced at Rey and nodded her way, to which the younger Jedi nodded back. Poe wasn’t sure what had happened, but he was pretty certain it was some weird force stuff going on that he couldn’t understand.

Leia left the room, the hospital doors sliding shut behind her. After a couple of seconds silently staring where she once stood, Poe finally addressed the fact that Rey was  _ still _ holding his hand.

“Finn told me to take care of you when he couldn’t be here,” she shrugged, gripped his hand tighter, “This is the only way I know how.”

Poe looked down at their hands. He noticed her mark was glowing, leaving a soft blue glow on the top of his right hand. The fact that Finn had asked Rey to take care of him made him relax his shoulders a bit; Poe was scared that Finn wasn’t in the room because he didn’t want to be around Poe. Finn had to have seen Poe’s mark while Poe was unconscious, there wasn’t any way to avoid it since Poe’s glove had been stripped from him.

“Your mark is also Finn’s name,” Rey commented. She must have been watching him as he inspected his mark, “When are you going to tell him?”

“He hasn’t noticed?” Poe asked, shocked that she made it seem like Finn was unaware. Rey shrugged, something she seemed to do quite often.

“If he has, he hasn’t said anything about it. But I don’t think he was paying attention to your hands. They were wrapped up for most of the time because of some burns you had. They just removed the bandages yesterday.”

“How long was I out?” Poe imagined he had been out for a few hours, maybe a day at max, but he knew burns took a while to heal even with the advanced technology the Resistance had ahold of.

“Three weeks,” Rey answered.

“Three- Three weeks?!” Poe nearly screamed but his damaged vocals only allowed for him to squeak. He wasn’t even embarrassed by the cracking in his voice; he was mainly concerned with how much time had passed. What had happened while he was out? How much had he missed? How long was it going to take for him to catch back up with his squad? Who was even alive still?

“Woah, slow down, pilot,” Rey said soothingly. Poe’s heart monitor began to spike as he thought about the survivors of his crew, but it calmed back down to a normal beat.

“Things have been pretty slow, really. Nothing has happened while you were out,” Rey shifted in her seat, letting go of Poe’s hand temporarily to pull her hair back into a tight ponytail. The warmth that she radiated was lost instantly, and Poe was sad that she had let go of him. He felt some sort of pull towards her but not the same one he felt for Finn. This pull was much more subtle and soothing. There was no heart racing, no sweaty palms, no urge to be as close to her as humanly possible. All Poe felt was calmness.

Her pull made him think of his pull towards his mother.

Rey made him think of home.

“Anyway,” Rey continued as she grabbed for his hand again. Her warmth was back. “Finn’s been doing basic training stuff. They tried to get him to fly a simulation but he crashed every time.”

Poe let out a snort at that. Of course Finn wouldn’t have the coordination to fly anything, he seemed too clunky to get that skill mastered fast. Rey beamed at Poe when he let out a fit of giggles.

“Finn thought you’d laugh at him,” Rey laughed, “I’m glad you’re laughing. Seeing you sleeping all of the time got depressing.”

Poe wiped away a tear from his eye that built up from his laughter. He couldn’t believe how exhausted he was. Everything had happened so quickly and this was the first time in a while he felt like time was going at a normal pace. This was just a normal conversation between two people.

Before Poe knew it, his head was bobbing back and forth as he resisted the urge to fall asleep. Rey had continued on with her story but Poe had only listened halfheartedly. His focus was off and he couldn’t think of one thing for too long before his brain wandered off to another topic. He was about to tell Rey that he was going to fall asleep when he slipped back into unconsciousness.

 

* * *

 

“She’s what?” Poe asked, sliding off of his new X-Wing. He had been making small repairs to the back because  _ something _ was wrong but he couldn’t figure out what wasn’t working.

BB-8 beeped at Poe, “She can help!”

“I mean,” Poe muttered. He tapped his wrench against his chin lightly, considering BB-8’s suggestion to ask for Rey’s help on fixing his X-Wing. Poe didn’t have any sort of problem with Rey helping him, of course not, he just felt...weird about the whole ordeal. Sure, she had sat by his side until he got better, but he was still jealous of the fact that she had Finn’s mark. It also didn’t help that Poe was avoiding both Rey and Finn ever since he had been released from the infirmary. How could he just go up to her and say, ‘Hi Rey, I totally know I’ve been ignoring you and Finn, but I totally need some help on fixing my X-Wing! You dig?’ and expect anything positive in return?

Poe groaned, throwing his head back and spinning on his heel. He lost his balance and fell over into his supplies, cursing softly. BB-8 whirred around him, clearly frustrated that it’s human was being melodramatic about everything and not taking it’s suggestion. BB-8 tried again, telling Poe that if he had Rey help him, he’d figure out this mess much faster than if he were to continue fumbling around on his own.

“I  _ know _ , BB-8,” Poe sighed, “I just don’t want to come between her and Finn. It’s so stupid, but I just think Rey is being nice to be because-”   
“Because, what?”

Poe yelped, surprised to hear Rey’s voice. He thought he was the only one awake at this time of night (morning? Who knew.) so hearing someone’s voice startled the hell out of him. Of course, the person that was awake was Rey, whom he had  _ of course _ been talking about to his droid. BB-8 scurried away from the two of them, obviously not wanting to face Rey’s wrath. Her expression was a dark one.

“Look here, pilot boy,” Rey hissed, “ _ You _ need to go deal with Finn, because  _ I _ can’t deal with this. I can’t deal with him constantly moping around because  _ you _ refuse to see him. Whatever your problem is- What are you doing?”

“Uh,” Poe said dumbly, looking around at his supplies, “I’m? I guess I’m trying to fix my ship. But the thing is-”

“You don’t know what you’re doing.”   
“Hey!” Poe exclaimed, offended. Of course he knew what he was doing! It was  _ his _ ship,  _ his _ baby, he had to know how to fix it whenever it broke. It was no different from any of the other X-Wings that he had been granted by the Resistance, so why was this one being so difficult to him?

Rey rolled her eyes before turning towards Poe’s X-Wing.

“As I was saying,” she tossed her hair behind her shoulder as she reached her arm into a crevice of Poe’s ship, “You gotta- ugh, dammit- you need to talk to Finn. I can’t handle how he’s feeling, it’s putting too much stress on me.”

Poe handed her some sort of tape that she nodded towards, indicating that she wanted it. When she took the tape from him, she raised her eyebrows in a way to show thanks.

“What do you mean?” Poe asked, “Does he talk about me or something?”

“Well,” Rey grunted, “Not really. It’s just that his emotions are felt by me, being force sensitive and all.”

Poe’s eyebrows arched at the mention of Rey’s force abilities. He didn’t know that she could literally feel what Finn was feeling, but it made sense. Her pull towards Finn must have been stronger than anything because of her sensitivity to the force. Poe knew that soulmates could vaguely feel when the other was upset or distressed, but he couldn’t begin to comprehend how strong everything must have translated when you’re both soulmates  _ and _ force sensitive.

“He’s confused. Why have you been avoiding him? ”

Poe worried his bottom lip. Rey’s statement was a mixture of a question and an accusation aimed his way. He wasn’t sure if he should lie and say he was just busy or if he should just come clean to Rey, hoping that all could possibly be fixed. Poe figured that honesty was the best way, even if it may turn out to be the hardest way to tackle the situation.

“I guess I just didn’t want to get between the two of you, that’s all.”

Rey pulled her arm out of Poe’s X-Wing, giving Poe a looked that he couldn’t understand completely. She placed both of her hands on her hip and leaned towards him, searching his face for something. Poe stood still, hoping that she wasn’t looking for a good area to punch.

“What do you mean, exactly?”

“You both have each other’s marks, you’re soulmates! Even though I have his mark, you guys-”

“Just, ugh, stop right there,” she cut him off, holding up one hand to cover her eyes and her other hand’s palm was held in front of Poe’s face, “We’re soulmates, sure, but we’re not  _ romantic _ soulmates.”

Poe’s eyes widened and he remained silent. His mouth opened slightly as he tried to figure out a way to respond to her, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. The shock ran through his body quickly before it was replaced with adrenaline. Maybe Finn could possibly reciprocate his feelings!

“I don’t ever want to be... _ in _ love,” Rey said thoughtfully. She had lowered her hands to rest on her hips again, “I don’t ever want to be dependant on someone emotionally or physically. I’m okay with Finn and I having this bond, of course, but I at least know it won’t drive me to do wild things out of romantic inclinations. Unlike you idiots.”

“I’ll talk to him,” Poe quickly said. He had already begun making his way away from her before the sentence had completely left his mouth. A grin slowly broke out across his face as he began to sprint towards Finn’s room. “Thanks, Rey!”

“Whatever!” she shouted back, knowing that no matter what she said to Poe he wasn’t going to stop.

Poe didn’t even look back at her as he ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> callyourgirlfriend_robyn.mp3 plays softly
> 
> I'm tracking the tags 'fic: ycbtmasbjots' and 'jealousmoon' on tumblr btw!!!


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